Are you prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse? Having watched all 7 series of AMC’s The Walking Dead doesn’t count. Do you have all the necessary zombie apocalypse survival gear? In truth, very few people do.
They don’t know what zombie survival gear to get and haven’t thought about how they would behave if such an incident does occur.
To most people, the likelihood of a zombie apocalypse seems relatively low. Especially when compared with other apocalyptic scenarios. But, this hasn’t stopped the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) from taking the issue seriously. So what’s your excuse?
This article is our admittedly preposterous attempt to take the zombies seriously.
A thought experiment if you will, in which we first pose and then attempt to answer three key questions for any budding zombie apocalypse survivalist.
Important questions which deserve a thorough and detailed answer.
If, however, you just want to find out which is the best all-in-one zombie apocalypse bug out bag on the market then follow the link.
1. What is a Zombie Apocalypse?
In order to define a zombie apocalypse, we first have to define a zombie. The problem is that this particular creature has come at us in a variety of different guises throughout history.
To illustrate this point, check out this fantastic video from the guys at Top Trending which shows the evolution of the zombie archetype in pop culture over the last 100 years.
So with such a vast body of different literary and cinematic work we need to narrow the field a little. The most generous in detail seems to be Max Brooks’ World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War.
The book tells the story of the zombie apocalypse through interviews with survivors many years after the actual events.
This perspective allows us to explore the zombie apocalypse from multiple angles. It also gives us a lot more detail than most work.
What is a “Typical” Zombie?
1. Strength – equivalent to the human host
2. Speed– a slow almost crawl like pace
3. Life Span – 3 to 5 years depending on the climate and environment
4. Agility – unable to jump or balance easily
5. Intelligence – unable to use logic or reason of any kind
6. Death– only by completely destroying the brain
7. Virus– transmitted through contact with saliva or blood
So this is our typical zombie. Now, how exactly would a zombie apocalypse play out?
Again, we have borrowed heavily from Max Brooks’ World War Z but we have also used 28 Weeks Later, Dawn of the Dead and The Walking Dead to support the answer.
The 7 Stages of a Zombie Apocalypse
1. Mutation – The zombie virus comes into being through a mutation. This could be by natural or bio-engineered means.
2. Patient Zero – The first human is infected with the zombie virus. The patient exhibits the characteristics of a typical zombie but the doctors are unable to diagnose the condition correctly.
3. Outbreak – Patient zero begins to infect others. The infection spreads in the local area and attempt local media report on the events fuelling confusion. The medical and local governmental authorities start to take notice.
4. Containment – The police and military attempt to quarantine the main infected area. The local people are confused and the atmosphere is tense. The police and military use increasingly harsh measures to contain the spread of the infection.
5. Panic – The authorities begin to lose control and new outbreaks begin to pop up all over the place. The population begins to panic. Law and order break down even in uninfected areas. The fighting continues but it is an increasingly futile act.
6. Collapse – The number of zombies becomes overwhelming with many billions infected. The few remaining survivors retreat to safe zones. Everyday life is a struggle with people only really concerned with the most basic tasks of survival.
7. Reconstruction – A zombie can only survive for 3 to 5 years. Afterwards, the survivors begin the task of reconstruction.
Advancement through each stage is by no means inevitable and there are opportunities for humanity to halt the apocalypse. That being said, any seasoned survivalist would prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
The single greatest action a survivalist can take to swing the odds of survival in their favor is to assemble a bug out bag with all the best zombie survival gear.
For those who don’t know a bug out bag is a collection of all the prepper gear and supplies that you need to survive in the wild for 72 hours or more.
We wrote a whole article on this topic a few weeks ago but the zombie bug out bag is a whole different beast and requires a different approach.
2. What Zombie Survival Gear Should I Get?
There isn’t, of course, a “typical” zombie apocalypse bug out bag. Each survivalist’s zombie survival gear is going to be different from the next.
But, when deciding on your gear it will be helpful to divide your items into 5 different categories.
You can then form a clearer picture of your specific survival needs.
What follows is my own personal list of bug out bag zombie prepper gear organized into the above categories. The list is by no means exhaustive and I strongly advise you to add to or even take away from the items listed.
I don’t expect you to agree with everything I have written and I welcome all forms of discussion in the comments section below. Please enjoy!
Food and Water
Other than escaping the clutches of a zombie horde, food and water is going to be your biggest priority. If you are out in the wild for longer than 24 hours you are going to need to be prepared.
You are more than likely to be on the move often trying to stay ahead of the zombies. So you will need lightweight gear and supplies for the constantly changing circumstances.
Top Tip: You should stash food, water and equipment in one or more safe houses. Only carry enough to survive but not so much that you are weighed down.
Clothing & Shelter
The first 24 hours of a zombie apocalypse are going to be complete chaos. Whether you have the latest North Face body warmer or not won’t make much difference to your survival.
That being said, if you do manage to survive more than 72 hours then the zombies are not going to be your only problem.
You need to be prepared for a number of less immediate but ultimately important concerns.
You are quickly going to find yourself up against the elements. The right clothing and shelter can be the difference between life and death.
Top Tip: Socks, socks, and socks! Anyone moving fast on foot is going to go through a few pairs of socks. Pack at least 5 pairs in your bug out bag.
In the wild there are some tools that any zombie survivalist can’t do without. The tools I have chosen have at least one life saving purpose if not multiple.
An investment here will pay dividends in the medium to long term and most of the tools will last many years.
We have included tools for starting a fire, lighting, communication, navigation, base camp prep and construction.
Top Tip: If you have to ford a river and need to dry off quickly then the Swedish Fire Steel should be easily accessible in your pack.
Self Defence & Hunting
Weaponry is a polarising topic for zombie preppers. Do you use a gun or a bow and arrow?
It goes without saying that you are going to want to defend yourself but there are advantages and disadvantages to either option.
A gun is easy to use and precise but also very noisy and will attract any nearby zombies.
A bow and arrow is difficult to master but is silent and lightweight.
In the end, we have gone with the bow and arrow. The choice is of course yours. Choose wisely!
Top Tip: If you decide to use the bow and arrow you should train extensively with it beforehand to ensure you can handle yourself in a crisis.
Murphy’s law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. In the wilderness, this can mean a serious injury or illness.
The relative likelihood of an injury or illness is higher than in every day non-apocalypse life so you need to be prepared for a number of different medical emergencies.
The best first aid kits are those which are tailored to a person’s needs.
We have suggested a basic kit but we advise that you add to it. You need to think about items that are appropriate to the local environment, your age, your level of fitness and any preexisting medical conditions.
Top Tip: If you are bitten by a zombie then there is nothing in the first aid kit to help you. Your best bet is to lock yourself in a room with a pile of rotten meat and wait for humanity to produce a cure.
3. How Do I Survive a Zombie Apocalypse?
The team over at the Huffington Post put together a 5 point plan for surviving the zombie apocalypse.
1. Watch Zombieland – They believe it is the most informative of all the zombie movies – Scrap that, instead read Max Brooks’ World War Z instead.
2. Check Facebook – The idea is that Facebook will be the front line in zombie sightings – Anyone heard of fake news?
3. Make supplies your first priority – Your FIRST priority? Really? What about the zombie horde attempting to break down your front door.
4. Stay Close to home – Terrible idea if you live in any of the following cities – New York, LA, Washington, San Francisco, wait… how about an urban area with a population greater than 100,000.
5. Whatever you do, don’t go to Walmart – The only tip that makes any sense!
I hope that having read the Huffington Post’s 5 point plan you are as disappointed as we are.
By way of an apology for wasting your time, we have decided to produce our own 5 point plan. This one is bigger, better and may actually keep you alive (but no promises).
1. Stay in Peak Physical Condition
Who is more likely to survive a zombie apocalypse, a sprinter, a decathlete or a marathon runner?
At first glance, the answer may not be obvious.
The answer is, in fact, the decathlete. But saying that, all three have much better odds than the average person.
The reason the decathlete is best is that he combines speed (100m and 400m), strength (shot put, discus throw and javelin throw) and agility (long jump, 110m hurdles, high jump and pole vault) while the other two specialize in only one area.
To survive the physical challenges of an apocalypse you need to make sure that you are in peak physical condition. So we have put together a three-part workout plan.
Speed – If you encounter a zombie on the street you need to be able to react fast and reach a reasonable top speed quickly. The best way to do this would be with interval training. The team at Nerd Fitness have a fantastic workout regime.
Strength – There are a number of different ways to build muscle mass fast. But we want to keep it simple. The Stronglifts 5×5 Workout is probably the easiest and quickest way to get strong fast.
Agility – Agility is an umbrella term that combines a number of different skills. Luckily it just so happens that there is a sport that trains a lot of the skills necessary to escape a zombie. Parkour! Yes, I know that most people won’t be doing backflips on their first day but the team at Nerd Fitness put together a Parkour for Beginners guide for anyone interested.
Now, a final thought on physical fitness. If the apocalypse has already begun then you will be limited by what you can do.
We advise the following 20 minute hotel room workout to maintain your fitness level.
2. Form a Team and Work Together
There are few times in your life more lonely than a zombie apocalypse. Chances are high that most people you meet will want to eat you.
Our advice is to find a few people to team up with and work together.
However, be ruthless. You need people who are strong, smart, healthy, brave and resourceful. Unless of course you are related to them and then you have to stay together regardless.
3. Locate an Isolated Safe House in the Wild
If you live in a city you may think that staying where you are is your safest bet. This is probably not a good idea and we have the data to prove it.
Researchers at Cornell University modeled how a potential zombie outbreak might spread across the USA. They conclude that it is likely that the major cities would fall first but isolated areas would remain zombie-free for many months.
They even go so far as to suggest the Rocky Mountains as the best place to take refuge. You can try the simulation here for yourself if you don’t believe us.
The take away from this research is that no matter where you are in the country as soon as you hear about zombies then you should head into wild preferably to a well prepped safe house.
4. Prepare Supplies and Gear in Advance
There is a whole section of this article entitled What Zombie Survival Gear Should I get? which covers absolutely everything we have to say about the perfect gear to have with you.
In regards to supplies, you need to stash enough food, water and medicine for at least 90 days at the safe house(s) discussed above.
5. Source Reliable Transportation
After following the interval training plan you might be able to post a sub 12 second 100m. However, biology dictates that you can’t maintain this speed indefinitely. Zombies are relentless and you are going to need some wheels.
But which is better a diesel or gasoline powered vehicle?
Well, it turns out that over time gasoline degrades faster than diesel. So, if you are in the market for a new vehicle, are not environmentally minded, and believe a zombie apocalypse is coming then invest in a diesel-powered car.
Better yet, you should try to get your hands on a military diesel vehicle. They run on a number of other fuels including rotten kerosene and fermented leaves.
So, there we have it. I hope this guide has provided at least a basic understanding of zombie apocalypse prep and zombie survival gear. If you have any questions then please feel free to comment below.
If you are still completely at a loss as to how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Then alas, I must tell you that there is no hope for you. We suggest that you spend the rest of the day watching YouTube videos. Enjoy!